This week I feel disappointed with myself because of technology. Of course, it has only really come to a head this week, but I have finally realized what has been vexing me for quite awhile now. Ever since I was fifteen years of age, I have devotedly kept a journal, but as of the present moment, I have not made an entry for the past five months.
I am the type of person that needs to write; it allows for me to disperse myself of negativity, elations, emotional poisons, etc. However, it seems like I spend all of my time in front of a computer now: I do homework in the morning before I go to work at 3 pm, then, I go to work and stare at a computer screen for eight and a half hours, and finally, I go home to stare at a computer screen for a bit longer before trying to go to bed. My schedule is so diligent anymore that I really do not have time for anything but sleep, homework, reading assignments, and work.
Of course, all of this will officially end in a couple of months, and I will find myself feeling unproductive (and probably wanting to go back to school again). I actually complained to my mother a couple of weeks ago that “I no longer write,” and I remember her telling me “it is probably the last thing you want to do after staring at a computer screen.” I used to write all of the time, and I found great pleasure in doing so. Now, though, I feel like my brain has been sucked of every creative undulation and my mind is going to start speaking in binary numbers (probably not).
3 comments:
Writing is a way for my to turn my thoughts and emotions inside out. When I am able to visually see the words in black and white, I can more easily get perspective and understanding.
Like you, much of my energy has been devoted to required writing. However, just this week I opened a Word document and began to let the words pour. In the past I have only written in traditional journals. My typing could not keep up with my ideas! I want to encourage you to jot a few thoughts down, even when you're tired or busy.
I know what you mean about feeling like you are ALWAYS in front of a computer screen. I have tried, and still try, to spend less time on the computer but it's almost impossible since I use a computer for work and school. I sometimes feel like my life is conducted online. That is one reason I am not into the whole Second Life thing. I need to first spend time living my REAL life -- I'm on the computer enough as it is.
My struggle is reading - reading something not related to my work. I just don't have the time or energy that I used to. Luckily I have my audiobooks. Last week when I was driving through white out conditions and my commute took half again as long as usual I listened to a new J.A. Jance mystery. :-)
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